Happy one-year anniversary my son

One year has passed since you, our son, moved into our arms and home. With all that we have experienced, grown, conquered, blossomed, and learned together it feels like many more moons must have come and gone, but in some senses it seems just like yesterday too.

Love at first sight
I remember sitting in an office with a big conference table waiting to meet you for the first time. As I looked around I wondered why a room used for introducing children to a family had gray walls and a big wood table. I imagine a bright room with a comfy couch with books and stuffed animals – would feel less intimidating, don't you? So as we sat there along with several other adults who had titles like County Case Manager, County Supervisor, Therapist, and Foster Care Specialist, we just wanted our title to be Parents to you – you who needed a safe and loving place to come home to. We soon spotted a pair of shoelaces and the tips of your shoes because you were hesitant to reveal your handsome face to yet another new family. We understand you have already been through so much before entering foster care and you were tired of meeting new faces who wouldn't stick around very long, after all we were family #6 not counting the family you were born into. Your big, brown eyes finally rounded the corner and we encouraged you to sit in a chair next to us. You know daddy has many skills, one being his origami which you have always loved. You were very impressed with his flying swan he made and quickly showed us a new paper popper you had learned that day at school. The paper was a heavy cardstock and bigger than all of our faces combined so it was a very loud pop that rang outside that conference room which broke down walls with laughter. As we began talking with you about the work you were showing us from school you asked if you could draw a picture of us in your journal. You are quite the artist you know! Our hearts melted when you showed us your drawing of all four of us (including the brother you haven't yet met, but were excited to meet) playing Beyblades. We later enjoyed lunch together and said bye to you for the day until we came to pick you up the following day to spend the weekend together.

That first weekend we introduced you to all your new surroundings, hoping while you got to see your new room and neighborhood that you were learning a little about us too. It was the perfect weekend – just lots of one-on-one time and hanging out as a family. That Sunday on Mother's Day you got to meet your brother for the first time. Your big brother couldn't contain himself, he was so full of excitement and immediately handed you a bracelet that matched his. Later you gave him a bracelet of yours that said 'Best Friends Forever' and since then you both have formed what you boys call a sweet "brothership". You love like brothers and you fight like brothers; you back each other up,  take care of one another if one is hurting in some way, and pray for one another. A week later after school was finished, on May 18, you moved in officially. I am so thankful I was able to take off four weeks from work to invest in you minute-by-minute during your first summer with us. What a joy those memories we shared together are!

Love sees through the layers
As time passed you slowly opened up to us about things you deal with on a daily basis that unless healthily expressed we don't realize how deep your pain can be. Hopefully you know by now through thick and thin we are here with you. Just like daddy explained to you in Fall when we were wandering through a corn maze together, the corn is sweet and golden on the inside which we find when we pull pack the layers of husks covering it. The husks help the corn grow, but it must be peeled back so we can enjoy the fruit. We know it hasn't been easy to live in the world you have been a part of, but bigger than you and your past and future is your Savior Jesus – He is with you always sweet boy!

What a year this has been for all of us as you and your brother learn to share life with someone more than yourself and as we learn as parents to guide the two incredible children of the Lord we have been given. Though you were first seven years old when we met you, we have enjoyed many of your firsts with you!

These are a few of your firsts ever:
• Being a part of a church community
• Learning to swim
• Interviewing on a radio show
• Learning how to spend time with Jesus
• Keeping three banks for your hard-earned chore money: Give, Save, and Spend
• Being wowed at Disney World
• Surviving your first bad roller-coaster experience which made both you boys cry: Space Mountain and your favorite roller-coaster experience which you rode several times: Mt. Everest 
• Reeling in your first catch when fishing
• Trying out sports such as Tennis and Soccer
• Living it up at summer Camps at a nature center and the Humane Society
• Enjoying your first Minor League Baseball game
• Scoping out Stone Mountain 
• Jamming to your first music concert and getting an autograph: Jamie Grace• Exploring with Cub Scouts
• Learning how to roller skate
• Having a sleepover with friends
• Being a part of a couple mission projects locally to give to other foster children; and internationally as you filled a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child
• Asking Jesus into your heart! Getting Baptized!
• Dying eggs at Easter
• Seeing the beach, smelling salt air, and playing in the ocean 

Wow – we've had some incredible times! Thank you for allowing us to see you, really see you as Jesus created you to be. Many times you shine with your love, humor, tenderness, thoughtfulness, strength, and His light from within. Some times we walk through harder days together and that's alright to feel all the feelings you do – we love you and see your light still, even on the cloudy days. You are God's child of light to us. Thank you for trusting all of you to us. It's just been a year already – I can't even fathom what the Lord will be teaching us as we continue to walk side-by-side together my sweet son. And though we still wait for the legal finalization of adoption, you will always be a part of us. Always – Google x Google + more whatever you say!
"But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin." 1 John 1:7

I love you son.

Love, Mama

The Disney reveal and adventure

So one of the exciting things about being a parent is sharing in the joy of the newness with your child. Whether your child is biological, a foster child, or you're an adoptive family, there's new experiences together and sometimes new feats for the very first time for your child – no matter what age they come to you as. Though our foster son is seven years old, we have enjoyed many of his firsts with him like roller skating, learning how to swim, carving pumpkins, being active in a church, hay rides, roller coasters, visiting local attractions like corn mazes, Stone Mountain, and now the greatest fun – Disney World!

With all the fun and exciting newness also comes the many firsts that sadden your heart along this journey. Your child passing the year mark of a trauma-versary or being in foster care for a year. The first year of celebrating holidays with the only family your child had known before coming into care and five families in the foster system before you. New seasons are always a reminder of your adoptive or foster child's past and pain, but many new great memories can be made too.

We wanted to reveal our trip to Disney to the boys in a special way. We had decided to purchase punched-out letters at the Dollar Store that spell out the word. Each day they had good behavior we would reward them with a letter which they would use to unscramble the surprise. We quickly realized that this month wasn't the best time to reward good behavior with earning of letters, because good behavior wasn't going to show it's face too often from our foster son. After all, past anniversaries and future adoption realizations are all coming into play – all of which can trigger emotional breakdowns. So we simply began handing them letters, earned or not, to keep a positive focus on the surprise for a moment or so. Nine days before we were to leave for our trip, the boys had all 15 letters to spell out Walt Disney World. It took a few clues from us to get the 45 min. unscramble process moving along so we could still make bedtime at a decent hour. Once they got it, they got it, and with much excitement. Then, like typical children, they thought we were leaving right then. They weren't too thrilled about having to wait nine whole days! I wish I could post the video of the reveal.

A family trip to Disney with young ones can be just as exciting as it is exhausting because of the full day of energy expected from everyone. So we had some expected issues, but nothing we couldn't handle in public and nothing like the five difficult days prior to our leaving.

Lots of wonderful memories were made together and our foster son believes it was all SO magical! From the princesses (who I caught him checking out because they are pretty) to Mickey, he was enthralled. Our bio son is 15 months older and very literal so he was quick to tell our other son the truth about magic not being a reality. But we asked him to let his brother believe in it, enjoy it, if only for a short while. He hasn't had many opportunities to dream big and believe big like a child should, and so, we agree, it's magical.

To watch him act like an innocent child just melted my heart. To see him get excited that Mickey Mouse himself left us a voice mail on our hotel room phone, acknowledge that Mickey must have felt special that we visited him in person twice, get autographs/pictures with the pretty princesses (his favorite being Snow White), pretend to be a Star Wars character while dressed in costume and sword fighting while running through the parks, and sob uncontrollably when he believed Mickey was getting hurt when he was fighting the evil guys were all tender moments. We treasure these tender moments because it's in these times we can smile along with him or hold him when he was deeply sad. There were moments where we heard sweet giggles coming from the back seat. There were moments like the time I saw our foster son put his arm around our bio son just because they're brothers and buddies, and they love one another.

Thank you Disney, for a great trip for a family who is loving one another through the difficult and better days to teach there is such things like magic and simple joys of childhood.