Lessons From a Boo-Boo

Lately we have experienced a number of days of our foster son's hardest days since he's been in our home. It's been real tough and we have felt down, overall. But even in the trials we always have hope because we know that the Lord is fighting for all of us – we are not alone in this spiritual battle over our dear little one. Our son is not alone in his battle over surrendering his pain, anger, unforgiveness, past, and future – we know Jesus is carrying him and will get him through. 


My husband never ceases to amaze me at the incredible parent he has become. When we first met I was a single mom with a 2.5 year old. Even now he fears holding new babies because they might break in his arms. For years I had prayed for an incredibly good looking, yes I included my human desire, and a man who loves God, me, and my son. And our paths crossed, for which I will forever hold on to as a blessing from our sovereign Lord. Now we are both parents of a seven and eight-year-old boys, together.

I recall recently one particular moment when our foster son was able to calm down from a melt down spurred by something beyond his control. Steve took advantage of that time to teach him how his pain and anger was like the boo-boo on Steve's elbow (he got from his fall when we took the boys roller skating).  He taught him the biology of how the body was created to heal an injury with a scab. He shared with him that many times we try to help the body heal faster with a little ointment and a band-aid. My heart melted when I heard Steve say, "Son, Mommy and I are here to be your ointment and band-aid. You have to let us help you. We are sorry for the boo-boo you have inside, but that boo-boo didn't come from us. We wish we could have been there to protect you so that you weren't hurting inside so." Steve then pointed to the paper award chart we have on our fridge which our foster-son tore up into pieces in the heat of his anger and threw at me. Once he settled down we found him taping it back together and re-hanging it on the fridge. Steve told him that though he taped that paper together it's not quite the same, it looks different, but it can still be used for good. Our wounds on the inside, which we can't see, can't simply be taped back together because it takes much more time to heal. The healing of our wounds on the inside can't even be sped up with ointments and band-aids. We need each other and God to help get us through and make us complete again.


I am so thankful for Steve, his heart for our children, and his desire to point them to the Lord in every opportunity we can. I am thankful on this difficult journey where we are confident we will see beauty come from ashes, as we've seen in our lives many times before, that we have hope in promises from our creator. We are not alone. We will win this battle with God's hand on us. Please continue to pray over all of us.

I recently posted about my personal boo-boos on my Facebook page so that my friends and family could know how to pray for our current struggles: I have about 6 DVDs on how to parent a child from a hard place, 10 books on adoption and Christ's unconditional love, books on being a prayer warrior and leading your kids to Christ, therapists giving us and our foster son lame tools for handling his behavior, and case managers telling us he is not our son – in fact, he is the state's child though we love him as our own. We can't do anything to stop his behaviors with any amount of control, other than rewards and consequences, because all else of being a parent is against policy. So we feel like helpless parents. Forget all the books and psychological seminars that we can't seem to find time to delve into right now. I need my Lord first!
 
And God has been pouring out His love for me by showing me His promises that heal time and time again. 

A sweet co-worker who saw my post pointed out to me a lovely woman in the Bible who was faced with loss, love, and legacy – Ruth. There were two women who were faced with a decision on their journey. Orpah wept and went away and Ruth wept and moved forward. Kelly Minter adds, "The apostle Paul wept, but didn’t allow his grief to stop his forward motion while the rich young man walked away from Christ with great sadness. It’s difficult to point a finger at Orpah or the rich young ruler because we too may have turned back in the face of loss or adversity. But how great the honor and reward of Ruth and Paul who, in their tears, kept walking forward."

I'm claiming God's promise in Isaiah 58:8-12 for our dear son:
Then your light will appear like the dawn, and your recovery will come quickly.
Your righteousness will go before you, and the Lord's glory will be your rear guard.
At that time, when you call, the Lord will answer; when you cry out, He will say, 'Here I am.'
If you get rid of the yoke among you, the finger-pointing and malicious speaking, and if you offer yourself to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted one, then your light will shine in the darkness, and your night will be like noonday.
The Lord will always lead you, satisfy you in a parched land, and strengthen your bones.
You will be like a watered garden and like a spring whose waters never run dry.
Some of you will rebuild the ancient ruins; you will restore the foundations laid long ago; you will be called the repairer of broken walls, the restorer of streets where people live. (Isaiah 58:8-12 HCSB)

Psalm 94:16-19
"Who stands up for me against the wicked? Who takes a stand for me against evil doers? If the Lord had not been my helper, I would soon rest in the silence [of death]. If I say, 'My foot is slipping,' Your faithful love will support me, Lord. When I am filled with cares, Your comfort brings me joy." 

Isaiah 41:10
"Fear not, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

I'm trying not to be consumed with the current issues, but I've also got to hunker down and be my kid's biggest fan and prayer warriors in this season too!